Broken

Well, he has let me down yet again,been countless of times. Broken and empty promises yet again . He's a good boyfriend , yes. But a very forgetful man. It saddens my heart though how he can keep this shit dangling , and for how long? There are the moments where I feel like I'm the man in the relationship, and he's my little puppet. I don't want that. I don't want to tell him what to do, but if I don't, he won't do shit? He is a good boyfriend, he never cheated on me, (so I think) and well yea . But he never listens to me.

Love is not a feeling, my cat could tell me she loves me. But no, love is an action you must take. He never did show it. "I guess he never knew how to show it. But it's okay. It's okay Sarah. He will,soon." See that's what I keep telling myself in my lil selfish ass of a pea brain . But let's be realistic, is it really really gonna happen? I think we might all know the answer to that rethorical question,hey? He just keeps breaking my heart again and again and again but it's okay. AGAIN that's what I tell myself. He will change, in time. For me , I hope. BULLSHIT. I should really stop putting those sentences yes, HOPE in myself. It's bad enough I do most of the things, the romantic thoughts,the endless gifts. The sweet talking . God . Am I a man? No seriously, am I? Ahh well this song can only tell my situation :

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight.
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time.
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts.
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out.
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on I'm barely holdin' on to you.

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

No matter, I still love you baby boy. No matter what, I will forgive you. Maybe,just maybe. You'll change,right? But if you can't. I'll love you for it anyway. Because ,after all it is you I fell in love with. H.M.M.

xx peace!