I'm begining to wonder why I came

Situation I'm goin' through and went through . Sigh , emotional breakdown . Has something to do with this song -How to save a life by The Fray . The one's with the curved handwritting and the bolded and the colored words are what actually happened to me :

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night.

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you.

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came.

I don't know why I even try to make this work,even though you've been so rude to me, calling me stupid which I don't enjoy being called that especially by you , and when you said " You are damn annoying,babe" . You really got me there . How could I've ever loved a human being like that . I don't know how but I still do . That's how much you mean to me . And despite how you don't call/text me anymore, I really don't mind but at least find some time for me? What? You're busy with your friends? Go ahead, I know for you boys , dicks first ,hey? But then why do you need me? Let me go then? Clearly you don't have time for me . But I don't want you to keep me hangin' like some shit dangling on some cat's ass . Sigh . I love you , despite your temper spitting fireballs at me .I just beg you for the old you. I want the old Hun. My Hanky poopoo , my Baby Boy. :' ( Please . I pray to God you will come back to me asap.

xxpeace